That's a "Rap" Baby!
Before Poop2Poppies™ existed, before the flowers, before the products, before the website, there was just me trying to stay alive. Over the years I attended countless meetings, worked with counsellors,...
Honour Sobriety Milestones
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The Heart Behind Poop2Poppies™
Meet Amanda Jayne
Hi, I’m Amanda Jayne.
I created Poop2Poppies™ from honesty, humour, and the belief that even after the darkest seasons of life, something meaningful can grow.
For a long time, I believed my addiction was mainly about alcohol and drugs. What I eventually discovered was that addiction was the symptom. Underneath it was disconnection, insecurity, shame, grief, trauma, and a lifetime of not truly believing I was enough.
For 17 years, I have fought to stay sober.
There have been seven rehabs. Relapses. Broken relationships. Jobs lost. Periods where I genuinely did not think I would survive myself.
But underneath all of it, there was a part of me that refused to give in.
That part of me is the reason Poop2Poppies™ exists today.
Every flower, colour, milestone and word within this brand carries meaning.
Because recovery is not just about stopping one behaviour. It is about rebuilding your relationship with yourself. Learning self-worth. Learning honesty. Learning boundaries. Learning how to stay when life feels hard instead of trying to escape.
Poop2Poppies™ is my way of turning pain into purpose.
And if sharing my story helps even one person feel less alone, then it was worth it.
Childhood
When I look back on my childhood, the strongest feeling I remember is sadness.
Not because I struggled to make friends or fit into the world outside my home. At school, I had friends. I laughed. I felt good there.
It was inside my family that I felt completely and utterly alone.
From a very young age, I escaped into imagination. Into books. Into nature. Into my backyard with my trampoline and dreams of flying somewhere softer. I would spend hours outside watching ants carry tiny pieces of food together, completely fascinated by their little world. I read the same Enid Blyton books over and over because those magical worlds often felt safer and warmer than my own.
I was always creative.
I doodled flowers constantly long before I understood how much they would later come to mean to me. I loved colour, beauty, Barbies, singing, dressing up and creating things with my hands. My nana encouraged that side of me. She made beautiful ball gowns for my Barbies and I remember feeling so special and seen in those moments.
Teens into Adulthood
As I got older, sadness turned into insecurity.
At sixteen, I met my first serious boyfriend, who later became my husband and then eventually my ex-husband.
He became my first real source of affection, physical closeness and emotional attachment. Looking back now, I can see how much I confused love with finally feeling wanted. I stayed in that relationship for far too long because deep down I believed I was lucky someone had chosen me at all.
Around the same time, alcohol entered my life.
I still remember my first drink. I hated the taste, but I loved what it did to me. For the first time in my life, the noise in my head quietened down, the emptiness softened, the insecurity faded for a little while, and I felt what I imagined happiness to feel like.
That was the beginning of the obsession.
Not long after that came marijuana, and when I discovered that escape, I fell completely in love with it. That was the beginning of the downward spiral.
Now
Up until now, I never believed I was good enough.
No talent.
Not worthy.
Not even sure I deserved to be here at all.
I spent decades looking outside myself for proof that I mattered, or maybe subconsciously, proof that I didn't. Through bad relationships, uninspiring work, false validation, and silently pleading for anyone to love me.
What has changed now is not that my life suddenly became easy.
It's that I finally started believing in myself.
Not every second.
Not without setbacks.
But genuinely.
For the first time in my life, I feel like I am becoming my true self, instead of having my light extinguished by outside influences.
Poop2Poppies™ was created during one of the hardest periods of my life, but it quickly became something much bigger than a business idea. It became a way of living my values and creating meaning from experiences I once believed had destroyed me.
Testimonials
Bloom Notes
You Don’t Grow Around The Shit - You Grow Through It
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Addiction Is A Disease - And We’re Treating It Like A Moral Failure
I’m tired of the way society treats people with addiction. We talk about addicts like they’re the scum of the earth - like they’re weak, selfish, or broken - when...